“Youtuber Kevin Tots here, today we’re going to find out which is more powerful: this AR16 sport rifle or the holy words of the king james bible.”
gunshots
“As you can see the bible didn’t stand a chance.”
I got about 30 seconds in before my brain started frantically attempting to exit my skull.
When I was around 14 I tried listening to the bible on audio book, couldn’t even make it past genesis (or the one after?) because of how terrible the writing was.
Like, bible, I don’t want to hear the entire fucking lineage of every single character you’re introducing. Appendices would have been much appreciated.
Never tried again because I was an edgy 14 year old atheist who was only doing it to be able to “win” arguments on the topic.
Ahh to be a hormonal teenager…
https://youtu.be/67Vg9EYy4c0 without trackers.
When he says “idiot” I could swear I’m listening to Napoleon Dynamite reading the bible.
What happens if you play it backwards?
If he turns water into wine, how potent will that “oregano” be when he’s done with it.
You can tell this tape was made by Satan. It has at least four sides. If that isn’t evil magic I don’t know what is
Oh man, come on. It’s not that bad. The Gospels are an enjoyable read. I also like 1 John, I wish more Christians read this one. But they’d rather behave like Pharisees…
I say this as a life-long atheist: a decent translation plus a decent reader can make the more poetic parts of the Bible worth hearing, especially since much of it was adapted from oral history, so it was adapted from stories that were originally told aloud anyway. It’s no different to me than the Odyssey or the Beowulf in that sense.
All the begats and the crazy prophecies are still quite the slog though.
For example, I haven’t heard this particular one, but I bet it’s absolutely worth a listen:
Possibly not all 17 hours’ worth though. I hope the poor guy didn’t have to do it over just a couple of weeks of recording.
Edit: I’d definitely give this a listen too. He would really bring out the bloodthirsty parts.
Edit 2: Holy shit, he did it with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra providing the soundtrack. I’m sorry, if you don’t find this entertaining no matter what you believe, I don’t know what to say…
For what it’s worth, Job is so out of place, I’m not even sure if that guy existed lol. It seems that it was meant to be poetry in the original Hebrew.
There’s very little evidence for the existence of most of the characters in the Old Testament. There’s not even much evidence for characters in the New Testament.
Most historians think there was a person that was the historical basis for Jesus in the Bible, but if anything was written down about him while he was alive, it hasn’t survived.
Ughhhhh the begats!!! People back then really cared about genealogies huh? I like Mark’s Gospel, short, concise, straight to the point. I found it inspiring even when I was an atheist!
Matthew and Luke certainly do require more faith of course. But Mark can be enjoyed by anyone.
Not the biggest fan of the KJV but thanks. I’ll check it out :)
