He looks like cancer. Probably because he is a cancer.
I know candid HD photography isn’t complimentary to a lot of people, but holy shit he looks like a fucking zombie.
That’s pretty much what he is. That fucker is kept going by nothing but malice.
Isn’t that allergy medicine and an antihistamine? How does that keep you going?
That’s not fair. Liches are smart and competent, and had to earn their position through hard work and dedication.
Oh, now I have an idea for a new BBEG: A lich that got to their position by taking advantage of their privilege and refuses to acknowledge it.
Definitely should be fully fleshed out (no pun intended) by flavoring with historical Trump actions like blaming minorities for everything (“that jogger was violently assaulted by these 5 goblins that simply happen to be nearby”), refusing to pay contractors for services rendered (“great job building my phylactery, it would be a shame if you got deported before I paid you”), using populist rhetoric to blame progressives for the problems caused by capitalism (“Minions, I know your wages are low, but it’s those adventurers fault for donating gold to the orphanage and causing all this inflation”). When he flees the adventurers, they could be slowed by a magical spell called “malicious litigation” that functions like a web spell on anyone who is not of noble birth.
Minions could also include a ghoul as diplomatic envoy whose hair dye leaks and who accidentally books an event at Four Seasons Total Castle Care and several half-ogre sons who think they are going to inherit his lichdom but are too dumb to see they’re first on the chopping block when the chips are down.
“Is he ok?”
Geez, I hope not. I hope he feels as miserable as he makes others feel.
If Americans manage to fuck this up, who will be JD’s vice president?
A loveseat?
If he’s as unhinged as Trump, will he attempt to install himself as the nation’s first Sofa King?
If Americans manage to fuck this up
As in, putting Trump in office. Trump dies, and we get stuck with the weird couch fucker
Again… if Turnip dies… THEN what makes you think JD would be the new republican candidate?
Narrator: he wasn’t.
