30 points

To some, this would be a forgettable shitpost. To my five year old, a shabby library printout of this would be a prized possession.

Fuckin saved

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3 points

Your kid will go to bed at 8 sharp like a clockwork

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27 points

WOLF PACK RULE NO 1: CRANK THAT HOG AWOOOOO

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9 points

HECK YEAH!!!1?! ARROO

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19 points

SLEEP HYGIENE IS IMPORTANT MFERS

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The rules are more like a set of guidelines. You’re not really beholden to them.

(Means ‘fuck you, I’m not going to bed.’)

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7 points

Capt. Skull N Crosseyes clarifies “Bedtime” is polite misnomer for the nightly boning.

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7 points

We’re gonna bone this turkey by sunrise or your pizza’s free.

Wait

I forget which job I’m at

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Mmm… turkey pizza… 🤤

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2 points
*

Deee*bone this turkey. I know it’s a little overwhelming the Thanksgiving Deep dishes are a lot of work this time of year but worth it for the honor of wearing this Capt Crosseyes Morning Pizzeria apron and startin’ every day the Capt Crosseyes way.

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5 points
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Deleted by creator
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8 points

Complaining about not wanting to go to bed is even more juvenile.

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We’re not complaining. We’re just not doing it.

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11 points
*

The fuck it’s not! My wife let’s me stay up as long as I want!

…unless it’s a work night…

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