113 points

None of Star Wars makes any sense in context. From “Darth” to the whole I think I have your dad’s lightsaber stashed here somewhere thing to who Luke’s family is supposed to be and these days even Obi Wan’s weird desert hermit outfit now being official Jedi uniform, apparently or how Vader keeps getting bullied by all of the Empire’s middle management.

Honestly, that last one is the most impressive. In retrospect, Tarkin is an absolute badass that doesn’t give a crap about Vader’s whole deal. And it works. The magic space wizard that basically runs the empire and everybody is terrified of just sits there and takes it. You have to respect that.

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40 points

Vader wasn’t originally planned to be Luke’s dad. One of the producers came up with it halfway through Empire.

Part of being Sith is fucking over others, even those you are “allied” with. The way to become second in command is to kill the current second in command. Tarkin is at the point in his career where killing Vader would probably be a good move if he could manage it.

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13 points

Wasn’t Vader being his dad hinted at in a new hope when Luke talks to obi wan?

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18 points

‘Vater’ is father in German. Make of that what you want.

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14 points

Original draft of Empire by Leigh Brackett had Luke meet a force ghost of his dad. Obi Wan pretty clearly says in the original that Vader killed Luke’s father, which you can certainly claim he was being metaphorical, but I’ve never really gotten that vibe. Luke and Leia are also infamously handsy. I suggest hunting down VHS rips of the originals to see what you think. It’s a shame we’ll never get the unaltered versions in HD.

George Lucas claims it was always his plan, but he also has waffled on so many things (was it always planned to be 6 movies? Or 9? Or just a one and done?) One aspect is that he did have just a shit ton of random, unhinged ideas that never made it in.

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9 points

Darth father…

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9 points

There are a lot of late addition scenes to the versions of a new hope that have played over the last couple decades.

I tried to look that up, but the dialogue changes are so numerous they don’t list them.

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7 points

Doesn’t matter, really.

Because the most inconsistent thing in that scene ends up being Obi Wan choosing from the entire prequel canon the idea that Anakin was “the best pilot in the galaxy”.

Seriously, he tells him that:

  • his dad was a good pilot.
  • his dad was a cunning warrior and a good friend
  • his dad wanted him to have his lightsaber when he was old enough.

It’s not just that the facts of the conversation are wrong, it’s that the tone of the conversation is entirely off for what ended up being canon, even before the prequels, but DEFINITELY after the prequels.

People latch on to the “Vader” thing, and who’s to say, but it’s absolutely clear watching it that the backstory they hint either makes no sense, is different than what they ended up doing, or both.

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1 point

There’s also the whole Vader being really close to German/Yiddish Vater = Father thing.

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6 points

You’re not wrong, but what points you to Tarkin being a Sith?

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9 points

I don’t think Tarkin has to be a Sith - more that he’s a smart cookie and knows how the politics work. He knows that if he could find some way to take down Vader, it would make him look more powerful/valuable in Palpatine’s eyes.

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1 point
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1 point
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33 points

Most of human history doesn’t make sense if you scrutinize it enough.

The US military, the strongest army in the world, was defeated by a bunch of rice farmers? Come on, get some better writers.

And the atomic bomb. Clearly the writers didn’t know how to end the WW2 story arc so they just came up with this super lazy plot device. And you can see that they don’t have any faith into it since they haven’t used it ever since, hoping that we would just forget about it

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10 points

ha! And then the spinoff built up the bomb as the big bad for the whole damn series but we never got a payoff, just a wall falling down. LAZY.

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I mean, I guess that was the payoff. Imagine the stakes while the episode air, you think nukes are going to explode but they see that if they fired that they would get destroyed too in the process and decide to make peace

And then, slowly but inevitably, their rule crumble

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9 points
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3 points

You could say the same about ewoks.

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7 points

Fair enough.

I mean, when they brought the Russians back as the villains you could really tell they had run out of ideas.

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4 points
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7 points

in the original script of humanity the atomic bomb was supposed to just release glitter but it malfunctioned. Dyslexic Einstein shrugged.

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26 points
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None of these things are plot holes. Why is it unbelievable that Obi Wan would keep the light saber? You might not have, but that doesn’t mean Obi Wan wouldn’t. Who is Luke’s family supposed to be? Yes, Obi Wan still dresses like a Jedi when he lives as a hermit. Vader is subject to the emperor’s wishes. It’s believable that tarken is very effective and therefore the emperor sees how valuable he is and he could outrank the emperor’s useful idiot attack dog.

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8 points

See, it’s not about plot holes.

“Plot holes” are a pretty useless concept anyway. Star Wars as a franchise goes so far out of its way to plug “plot holes”, and it does absolutely nothing for its consistency or coherence.

Case in point, Obi Wan the TV series goes out of its way to justify the goofy, inconsistent use of “Darth” as a first name during the Death Star fight and all that did was break the hell out of suspension of disbelief. See also: the entirety of Solo.

It’s about how you as a human can discern meaning. And yeah, in the original Star Wars Jedi Knights are meant to mostly just have been knights, like medieval knights, and likely not fundamentally connected to the idea of the Force. And the robes hermit look is supposed to be mostly Ben’s whole deal, not a Jedi uniform, and Vader is clearly supposed to mostly be a glorified henchman.

And it’s fine when you come back for Empire and a bunch of those things are no longer quite true. You shrug it off. Star Wars is “from a certain point of view: the franchise” and it’s absolutely to its detriment.

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1 point

I’m not sure you can use the massive plot hole creation device that is the Obi-Wan series to defend anything plot related.

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2 points

Why would he get rid of it? It’d be like a knight or samurai getting rid of their sword. Or a friend’s sword.

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24 points

Maybe he never force chokes tarkin cause he’s into it and Vader knows this

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10 points

Oh, go back and watch that scene.

Tarkin clearly just likes to watch. And he’s clearly calling the shots. Vader is this close to calling him “daddy”.

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15 points

Why does him having the lightsaber seem odd to you? We see him take it at the end of episode 3.

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-34 points

Does it seem weird having your mom’s dildo?

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14 points
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I’m pretty sure lightsabers have different weirdness levels / connotations than dildos.

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1 point

Hey, bud…? Do you think they fuck their lightsabers…?

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“What plans?”

“The plans that were delivered to you.”

“He delivered me hope. Didn’t you see the previous scene?”

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32 points

My headcanon is that Vader senses the force in Leia and deep down may unconsciously realise she’s his daughter because she looks like her mother, which is partly why he doesn’t kill her, even if the stated reason is that they still need to get information out of her.

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22 points

Vader could have revoked her diplomatic immunity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwC_IaY3BmY

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19 points

Yeah but that would have taken like, sooo much paperwork

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11 points

I thought cutting her crew members in half was the diplomatic immunity revocation process.

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22 points
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37 points
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17 points

You can blame Lucas all you want, but the writting has almost only gone downhill since he sold it. I will say Andor was great, but it was great because of how it diverged from typical Star Wars stories.

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4 points

I watched 30 minutes of Ashoka and got bored.

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3 points

Andor is definitely the best star wars title to date imo.

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2 points
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12 points
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Stars Wars always had poor scenario, dialogues, unempressive acting and weak scifi. People who think it just got worse from the second trilogy are blinded by nostalgia. Star Wars value is rather in visual and audio production: planetes, species, costumes, space ships, music, sound design, visual fx etc …

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6 points
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2 points

This. Vader literally saw her ship leaving the scene of a battle.

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Star Wars Memes

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Hello there. Somehow, Star Wars memes have returned. It’s not a trap, this is where the fun begins.

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