WannabeBear [he/him, comrade/them]

I’m doing my part by becoming a dude

I had the exact same experience. The laugh track kept freaking me out because why was there laughter when it wasn’t funny???

Granted I always dislike laugh tracks.

That’s hilarious, and with an added layer of meaning as a transmasc who uses prosthetic and t- dicks.

I repressed my gender for ~7 years after coming out as nonbinary/questioning to my husband, when he said “as long as you’re not a transman or don’t get a beard.”

Spoilers, I’m a transman.

Those 7 years were horrible for my mental and physical health. I lost so much.

I can’t say what the right choice is for you. Having kids must make your decision even harder. Whatever you choose, you are valid.

But in my experience, the dysphoria and need to transition only got stronger with age. Until it finally got to the point where I think repressing it any longer would have literally killed me.

Somehow “good” and especially “hard” seem less unblemished than “fabulous”

I came out to like a dozen people this week (prior to this week I was only fully out to like 3), and have a couple small social circles that are now using he/him pronouns for me.

Feels better than I imagined, and is also making me impatient to be fully out (but safety is making me try to hold back for ideally another 8+ months). Every person I tell (who accepts me, so far haven’t told anyone who doesn’t) it feels like a literal weight off my shoulders.

Also had the most gender-affirming sex of my life, thanks to my first realistic prosthetic.

And it’s been ~3 months on full dose T now. I had fully lasered my legs and armpits in my early twenties, trying to get rid of the hatred I felt for my body (ouch, wrong direction

Sorry this is a novel. I have no other trans community yet.

Even though my hope is to one day “pass” as a man, I relate to this!

When I bind, wear masc clothing, and leave a bit of my stubble, I’ve had a couple instances where I can tell people were like because of my gender presentation, and that alone gives me so much joy!

Even if I can never pass, confusing the cishets and not being automatically assumed to be a woman would be an okay place to land, too.

I’m very new to hexbear and mostly lurk, so I’m not sure if I’m allowed to recommend an online store (I also don’t know where you’re located, the store I have in mind only ships within Canada and the US), but anyway there’s a worker owned sex store cooperative in Toronto that has a great online store.

All of their gender gear descriptions are super gender neutral, I just checked to make sure and there’s even a line about packers being for everyone who wants one, in their basic packer information.

I try to never shop for sex stuff anywhere else, unless it’s something I legitimately can’t get through this store.

If I’m allowed I’ll totally give you the name, or you can DM me about it.

Depending on what exactly you want in a prosthetic (just a flaccid bulge? Pack and play? STP?) there are also people who make stuff themselves that you can sometimes find at queer markets or online places where artisans can sell stuff. If you’re crafty and just want a flaccid bulge, I could send you the pattern for a crochet packer.

I’m officially on waitlists for doctors to refer me for both top and bottom surgeries (through public healthcare. Could theoretically go private if I wanted to speed things up a lot, but not an option financially right now.)

~1 month to see a GP with specialized training who can refer me for top surgery (and then from what I know 2+ years before the surgery itself). ~2 years to see a psychiatrist for referral for bottom surgery (and then 8+ years for surgery).

Feels good because this is some sort of concrete progress. HRT changes are so slow

Idk if I want bottom surgery, but I figure if I do, I’ll know I do in a decade.