Comment by Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net on Lemmy since the reddit collapse

Does my username make me look like a dude to you? Why are liberals so fucking awful? It’s only ever you. Nobody in the left does this.

Generally considering that “dude” is a somewhat masculine word, so using it to refer to someone with she/her pronouns in her username (implying that she doesn’t want to be referred to with male terms) without knowing if they’re okay with that word just makes you look like a piece of shit.

No the fuck it’s not. It’s used for everyone, it’s been used for everyone for decades at this point. Throwing a tantrum over being called a dude is plain fucking stupid, no girl I know takes issue with being called a dude, and they call each other dude. Shit’s genderless a f.

First of all, this thread is like, a month old? Why even bother responding to me at this time?

Anyway, “dude” is rarely gender neutral. Here are the two main definitions on Wikitionary:

(chiefly US, Canada, colloquial) A man, generally a younger man.

(colloquial, used in the vocative) A term of address for someone, typically a man, particularly when cautioning them or offering advice.

So yeah, totally a gender neutral word. /sarcastic

And it’s pretty obvious where the dogwhistle is, calling someone with she/her pronouns clearly listed a “dude” in a disparaging tone. Going “oh but it’s a gender neutral term” has the exact same level of insufferable, bad-faith smugness as an edgy 14-year old claiming that the swastikas they’re scrawling on their desk are actually Buddhist symbols.

Your lack of social understanding is showing through. Maybe if you lived in any of the countries you disparage all day long (or just did something useful and constructive with your life besides troll farming), you might understand that “dude” is gender neutral these days. But sure, I’m sorry if my usage of “dude” really exacted a heavy load of social injustice upon you.

I live in the US and disparage it all day. That’s productive.

You forgot to switch your troll account back to Awoo, hilarious.

Go fucking fuck yourself you fucking piece of shit. Talking about other people’s sOcIaL uNdeRsTandIng while you’re fucking misgendering people AND JUSTIFYING IT AS IF YOU’RE A FUCKING VICTIM once you’re called on it. You’re rancid scum and I hope we get fucking defederated so we don’t have to deal with filth like you.

My lack of social understanding? Gender neutral?

I have to smash through the wall like Hbomberguy right now

“DO YOU FUCK DUDES? AnomalousBit?”

Do you go around telling other people that you fuck dudes? What do other people assume you mean when you say that you fuck dudes?

You could have just been like “Yeah you’re right, sorry.” but instead you doubled down on being a transphobic dickhead and literally proved my point about liberals being shitbags.

No, it wouldn’t be a problem if he said he fucked dudes. The implication though is that “dudes” is a gendered term. The complaint is that she was misgendered by someone who then doubled down on the misgendering. Her statement was not homophobic.

The only argument she’s making is that dudes is a gendered term, and him doubling down after the fact is bullshit

What she is saying is that she is not a dude

She literally has her pronouns in her display name mf, it’s not that hard

I was on mobile and the client I use does not show that. I had literally no clue as to the gender, nouns or anything other the user’s name was “Awoo”.

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Maybe if you lived in any of the countries you disparage all day long

Most of the users on Hexbear are American and a decent number of the remainder are Brits and Aussies. Our criticisms do not come from having never received the privilege of witnessing these countries being shit first-hand, as much as you might like to pretend it’s only those dirty foreigners not understanding your national glory.

I was continuing the train of thought that they are a troll farm employee, like I’ve spelled out in the other half dozen comments on this post. Their objective is literally to derail and misinform other countries that 90% of them have never visited, such great people, these troll farm employees.

Now, remind me again, where exactly did I say dirty foreigners? Oh. Just like a troll farmer, you always double-down on calling someone else racist when you’re losing the argument. Gotta have that re-direction.

So the foreigner part is self-evident, and I think the “second-world”, “potato vodka,” etc. covers the “dirty” pretty plainly. I don’t know why I’m even saying this, because basically what I’m doing is just teaching you to dogwhistle more effectively, but on the other hand this post is on lemmy, so hopefully I’m helping to point this out to other people so they will be more aware of these things when you and your ilk take your next crack at it.

Funny, I’ve kept my sights specifically on the troll farmers. You seem to be the one trying to leverage it into racism as some kind of ad hominem towards me. It’s fine, I understand you can’t keep up your focus on the losing argument at hand, so you have to redirect.

You also call them troll farmers, but the racial coding just keeps finding its way in somehow. Funny, that.

Yeah, we get it, you’re a paranoid national chauvinist on top of being a transphobic asshole, that was already obvious.

I don’t know a single trans person that views dude as a gender neutral term, the only people spouting that nonsense are transphobic cis dudes like you who make up excuses to misgender and harass us. Go die in a house fire, reactionary cissie shit.

Real talk from a very trans-supportive communist: is this universal? I definitely grew up in a conservative environment but definitely was under the impression that I and the trans people I am close to all thought dude was a term of endearment when used amongst friends, including women and enbys. I likely overuse the term from thinking I would be a skater after playing Tony hawk’s pro skater and being into hiking/climbing/camping culture, but is this a universal thing among trans people you know?

Not defending the other person, libs very often hide behind the argument once called out, and I’d never call you “dude,” or pretty much anyone not my direct friend, but I just wanna make sure I’m not hurting people unnecessarily without knowing it. Maybe it’s the “being friends” part that makes the difference, and I hope so. Otherwise I got some trans-comrades to apologize to

Adding here after thinking more, I guess I usually use it to refer to a non-specific thing, like saying “ah dude, that’s cool” and shit like that. Like saying “oh man.” Is this related??? Need some help here lol

Real talk from a very trans-supportive communist: is this universal?

I find it to be at least extremely common, both in English-speaking spaces online and in German-speaking trans communities online and IRL (i’m German). Ultimately it’s a matter of preference, there will be trans people who disagree, but there definitely are a lot of us who take offense. Same goes for terms like guy and especially for bro / bruh etc., or for German terms like Typ or Alter (in this context roughly comparable to guy or dude) which are generally at least masc-leaning. I’d definitely take offense to all of these, but sure, there are exceptions.

Still, these are exceptions, and more importantly, what we see here is a perfect example of how not to deal with such a situation: When somebody calls you out on misgendering, the only sensible response is to edit the post in question and to apologize. If you do that, it’s normally no big deal, everybody moves on with their day. And it takes a few seconds to edit a post and a few more to reply “sorry, i’ve edited this” while it can quickly take hours to start an argument over this. Yet i see over and over again that liberals in particular are incapable of showing that amount of basic human decency. Instead, they have to assert their privilege to define what we’re allowed to find offensive, talk down to us and act as if they’re the one ones who’ve been hurt because we’ve called their feeling of superiority and infallibility into doubt by saying they’ve made a mistake. That’s where it gets transphobic even if the misgendering was unintentional, that’s where it gets patronizing as well.

Fully agree with the description. Fuck that lib. Keep tearing them apart til they apologize and edit.

In Dutch-speaking communities i still hear the American phrases a lot, but the equivalents in dutch rarely. But in international groups oriented towards my hobbies, dude is still used a good bit. But I’ll just stay alert, just wanted to hear a bit more from a trans-comrade who most definitely would speak frankly to me (I understand that in-person call-outs can sometimes be difficult for such “small” things). Gonna only use it as a phrase of exclamation among friends that know me well I think and continue checking up regularly on my comrades.

Just to be clear, i’m not saying “don’t say dude”, the term in itself is perfectly fine. Just saying it’s not unusual at all that trans people find it not to be gender neutral and particularly that the response in that case shouldn’t be to start an argument where you assert a right to label trans people in ways that have clearly and already hurt them. It’s the latter that made me go from “oof, that person should edit this post” to “scratch a liberal and a fascist bleeds”.

I blindly called someone dude on social media and you suggested I die in a house fire. While I regret doubling down on my crusade against trolls over this, your response seems entirely disproportionate.

https://programming.dev/comment/2064766

Yeah, people weren’t aware of transphobic language 14 years ago, i know that, i’ve lived through that time.

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“Dude” can be gender neutral but given the context of it in your response it really fucking looks like a microaggression against her for being trans

I’ve already explained in this thread that on the mobile client (both Memmy and Wefwef), pronouns are not displayed. After this comment, I had to log on to desktop just to see what everyone was on about.

I’m here to confirm that it was a proverbial use of “dude”, like you might see used in movies such as The Big Labowski, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Good Burger. It is pretty well established in the west that dude is used for about anyone.

I understand now that this might not be the case everywhere and I am truly sorry for any misunderstanding related to gender that I have caused here.

Do custom names not show in Memmy/Wefwef? It was part of her display name.

They do not show on either app.

“All liberals are evil right-wing transphobes because someone called me ‘dude’,” might be the most… Eh, fuck it, this is why humanity deserves to burn. The whole earth is a circus and we clowns, as a species, will all get what we deserve.

No, we think you’re right wing transphobes because you throw us under the bus the second that caring about us is no longer trendy

That’s a pretty nice self portrait there, I think you have a potential career as an artist

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