Nothing. I’ve read enough Monkey’s Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.
We’ve also got a growing community for these: !monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz
Yep, the worst kind of story. “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get fine print.”
Main characters: make wish Monkey’s Paw: gives wish and something else Main characters: Oh, the problem was me wanting the reasonable thing, not that I trusted a really shady entity in asking for it! Me: May I leave this planet now?
I’d get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.
Then I’d probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.
Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.
Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.
If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren’t there to follow the law, they’re there to see that the contract is logistically sound.
If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there’s really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he’s just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
because he’s just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
ding, ding ding and there in lies the inherent issue with genies. People only think they’re doing what you wish. Their goal is to creatively screw you over.
I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!
There are far too many ways for an immortality wish to make your life hell in ways that a money wish uh, wishes it could.
Immortality has its own set of complications. Like seeing everyone you love die. Out living the earth, solar system. Being stuck for eternity in the heat death of the universe. I mean, I guess a longer life but not immortal might be desirable. Personally, my only wish would be to live comfortably.
there is no intentional curse but making you immortal is what the average human wishes for. Genie argues that it’s truly a bonus. You live a normal natural life, but instead of dying, you keep living. The money stops, and you live forever. Having to return to work after not working your entire life.
I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.
I would wish for a better genie.
Hm, sound like abuse of power to me. I’d wish for the genie to lose the ability to grant wishes. It needs to be cursed though, so I’d have to help with that.
Since it can still offer wishes, just not grant them… I’d help it learn to code. It could have a bright future as the CTO of a tech startup in the next hype cycle. I would not invest.
I wonder how many times this has already happened.
Hmm, this gives me a funny idea about a genie that is freed from his lamp, grants the three wishes, then has to figure out what to do now.
So he decides to become a programmer at some FinTech company.
Call it “Cubicle Genie.”
Programmer? Nah, programmers have to deliver.
If they have a thousand years of experience promising any wish granted, but no ability to follow through on that promise? They’d be wasted as a programmer. They should be made executive leadership. CTO at least. Maybe CEO.
Although maybe they’d make more by handling investor relations on contract – e.g. paid a % by seed or Series A investors to handle fundraising in later rounds. Private equity is pretty screwed up these days :(
