I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.
“I wish for whatever I would get if an alternate version of me who were much smarter, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, less selfish, much less short sighted, much more creative and much more prepared to word the perfect wish, WHILE STILL BEING ME with my values, goals, principles and desires were making a wish from an alternate version of YOU who tries to bless wishes, instead of cursing them.”
(also, I know how to fuck this one up)
Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else’s health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you’ve proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.
The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else’s health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself.
That’s why I specified “still me, with my goals, values, etc.” I KNOW myself and this wouldn’t happen.
What WOULD happen is “You get a machine you cannot understand. You spend days / weeks / years trying to get it to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, but it never does. Then, one day, after wasting countless hours of your life, you get it to turn on and it immediately causes before spinning out of control and tearing itself apart.”
Oh, you want your interpretation where they have your exact same desires? Granted. That alternative version made the exact same wish you did. It’s selfish all the way down, so there is no version where someone made a more concrete wish and you still get nothing.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have someone who is incredibly different but also exactly the same. It’s a contradiction.
Oh, and your curse isn’t what would happen. It’s just a bad fanfic plot device.
Nothing. I’ve read enough Monkey’s Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.
We’ve also got a growing community for these: !monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz
Yep, the worst kind of story. “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get fine print.”
Main characters: make wish Monkey’s Paw: gives wish and something else Main characters: Oh, the problem was me wanting the reasonable thing, not that I trusted a really shady entity in asking for it! Me: May I leave this planet now?
The genie’s freedom!
I would wish for a better genie.
