81 points

Once you invite them in and feed them, you’ll never get rid of them. But the same could be said for mormons.

permalink
report
reply
19 points

Why would you do that with Mormons though?

permalink
report
parent
reply
30 points

They said they’d give me a planet

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

Still, vampires are better.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Morons give out planets?

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Well because maybe it’s a good thing to offer food to these kids who don’t really yet understand the folly of their cult beliefs. At least I can give them a cookie or something for their efforts.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

We are talking about vampires, right?

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points
*

Insert a joke about kidnapping Mormons here.

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

I let some Mormons come in once when I was in my early 20’s because I wanted to confirm some things I had heard about their religion that they usually don’t share with outsiders. We talked for about an hour and then I asked them to leave. They came back the next day with their leader, and we talked some more. Then they came back the next day with their leader, and his leader! At that point I just told them point blank that it was nice talking to them, but I’m never converting to Mormonism, so stop coming back. To their credit, they said okay and left. It was an interesting experience.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Well I’m pretty anti-mormon even though I live in Utah. I guess shouldn’t be so hard on them, they’re not bad people really and I have mistreated them quite often. They do have weird beliefs (in my view) but when you’re raised with that mindset it’s not really your fault for believing it. Our neighbors are mormon and they’re always looking after us, shovel our driveway when it snows and check to see if we’re doing OK. I’d like to think that’s how neighbors SHOULD be no matter their religious ideas.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Mormons seem to walk the walk a lot more than other religions I’ve been exposed to. They generally live by the rules they espouse, and they have a robust support network for their members, including things like discount grocery stores. It’s not for me, but as religious people go, they seem pretty okay.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

If you kept that going much longer most of Provo would have been at your door.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

This is brilliant!

permalink
report
reply
60 points

It’s a trap!

permalink
report
reply
3 points

Now that’s a meme I haven’t heard in a while, nice!

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

“Never invite a vampire into your home, you silly boy, it renders you powerless.”

permalink
report
reply
64 points

Honestly, I think vampires would have plenty of volunteers nowadays.

permalink
report
reply
-1 points

Me in '06/07.

permalink
report
parent
reply
30 points

I highly recommend the show “What We Do in the Shadows.” It sort of covers this

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I love that show so much. Bat!

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points
*

My friend complains it’s awful but watches with me anyway and laughs

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

I always say being awful does not equal being non-enjoyable. It seems your friend agrees.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

That’s a good friend

permalink
report
parent
reply
35 points

Really depends on the rules vampires exist under.

I’m guessing some people wouldn’t care and just want in, but there are quite a few vampire mythologies that would be a really awful existence.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

All existence is awful, but if you were a vampire you would get to wear a neat cape

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

You’re not doing a good job of turning me away ಠ_ಠ

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

No capes!

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Ay, nobody’s stopping you!

permalink
report
parent
reply
27 points
*

Fr. In most interpretations vampires are undead, beings that lose all the joy of living, no warmth, no taste except for blood, inability to have kids or sex, being weak to the sun/running water/garlic/holy ground, being unable to enter any residence without being invited, having to sleep in coffin with dirt from where you are born (which means you can’t travel without bringing a whole ass coffin with you). Being a vampire would suck, now a daywalker tho…

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

True.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Grounded vampire mythos is suspiciously similar to the symptoms of rabies.

If you get Form Of Mist, though, I’m in.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Walking on ceiling, though. If I can get that, I’d say yes, too.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

Finally a chance to clear my games and books backlog

permalink
report
parent
reply

Funny

!funny@sh.itjust.works

Create post

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don’t post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

Community stats

  • 4.3K

    Monthly active users

  • 1K

    Posts

  • 18K

    Comments