81 points

Once you invite them in and feed them, you’ll never get rid of them. But the same could be said for mormons.

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19 points

Why would you do that with Mormons though?

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30 points

They said they’d give me a planet

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12 points

Still, vampires are better.

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1 point

Morons give out planets?

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1 point

Well because maybe it’s a good thing to offer food to these kids who don’t really yet understand the folly of their cult beliefs. At least I can give them a cookie or something for their efforts.

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1 point

We are talking about vampires, right?

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16 points

I let some Mormons come in once when I was in my early 20’s because I wanted to confirm some things I had heard about their religion that they usually don’t share with outsiders. We talked for about an hour and then I asked them to leave. They came back the next day with their leader, and we talked some more. Then they came back the next day with their leader, and his leader! At that point I just told them point blank that it was nice talking to them, but I’m never converting to Mormonism, so stop coming back. To their credit, they said okay and left. It was an interesting experience.

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7 points

If you kept that going much longer most of Provo would have been at your door.

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2 points

Well I’m pretty anti-mormon even though I live in Utah. I guess shouldn’t be so hard on them, they’re not bad people really and I have mistreated them quite often. They do have weird beliefs (in my view) but when you’re raised with that mindset it’s not really your fault for believing it. Our neighbors are mormon and they’re always looking after us, shovel our driveway when it snows and check to see if we’re doing OK. I’d like to think that’s how neighbors SHOULD be no matter their religious ideas.

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2 points

Mormons seem to walk the walk a lot more than other religions I’ve been exposed to. They generally live by the rules they espouse, and they have a robust support network for their members, including things like discount grocery stores. It’s not for me, but as religious people go, they seem pretty okay.

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4 points
*

Insert a joke about kidnapping Mormons here.

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64 points

Honestly, I think vampires would have plenty of volunteers nowadays.

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35 points

Really depends on the rules vampires exist under.

I’m guessing some people wouldn’t care and just want in, but there are quite a few vampire mythologies that would be a really awful existence.

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27 points
*

Fr. In most interpretations vampires are undead, beings that lose all the joy of living, no warmth, no taste except for blood, inability to have kids or sex, being weak to the sun/running water/garlic/holy ground, being unable to enter any residence without being invited, having to sleep in coffin with dirt from where you are born (which means you can’t travel without bringing a whole ass coffin with you). Being a vampire would suck, now a daywalker tho…

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14 points

All existence is awful, but if you were a vampire you would get to wear a neat cape

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7 points

Ay, nobody’s stopping you!

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4 points

No capes!

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3 points

You’re not doing a good job of turning me away ಠ_ಠ

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3 points

True.

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2 points

Grounded vampire mythos is suspiciously similar to the symptoms of rabies.

If you get Form Of Mist, though, I’m in.

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3 points

Walking on ceiling, though. If I can get that, I’d say yes, too.

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30 points

I highly recommend the show “What We Do in the Shadows.” It sort of covers this

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10 points
*

My friend complains it’s awful but watches with me anyway and laughs

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6 points

I always say being awful does not equal being non-enjoyable. It seems your friend agrees.

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4 points

That’s a good friend

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1 point

I love that show so much. Bat!

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10 points

Finally a chance to clear my games and books backlog

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-1 points

Me in '06/07.

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61 points

So you say your Dracula died and came back to life? And you drink his blood during religious service in his honor?

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34 points

Yes but it’s human blood that we anoint and gets spiritually converted to Dracula blood.

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60 points

It’s a trap!

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3 points

Now that’s a meme I haven’t heard in a while, nice!

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49 points

“Ye- oh! Ha. Nice try, bite guy.”

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6 points

“I D K, Can You Come In?”

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Funny

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