Male? Female? Sall good with this guy!

Want some, get some as a wise man once said to me.

4 points

Collegehumor did this exact skit a decade ago.

https://youtu.be/qPxSU7zDmOE

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2 points

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/qPxSU7zDmOE

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

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4 points

Her dick is too small, she can’t even find it herself sometimes.

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31 points

Honestly, I think this could be true. There’s definitely something to be said about willingly putting yourself in a vulnerable position with someone you feel safe with, for the sole purpose of their pleasure and nothing else. However, there’s definitely a balance. If my husband demanded blow jobs every day or something, I’d probably get the “ick” from him and not want to do it. But since he’s never been the one to be demanding about anything sexual, I do actually love making him feel good like that.

Sometimes I’ll make it hella silly and we’ll be sitting on the couch and I’ll just say something stupid like “GO GET ON THE BED KING, ITS TIME TO GET YOUR DICK SUCKED!” And he’ll roll his eyes and blush but I also see the corner of his mouth quirk into a small smile and I know he’s just like “She’s thinking of me.” And it gives me all the warm fuzzies. I also saw a meme once that said “LEMME STRESS EAT THAT DICK”, and that’s one that I’ve whipped out a time or two that makes him snort. Yeah, I’m goofy, not every time, but sometimes, because we’ve been married for 14 years this year and I just like to see him grin.

That being said, I also fucking love when he wants to take care of my needs out of nowhere too. There’s something amazing about just knowing someone is invested in your pleasure.

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9 points

NGL, i don’t think we’re cooking with this one chief, have we tried being friends first? I hear interpersonal relationships are pretty stout.

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3 points

Friends and partners are great but sometimes I just need a dick to suck

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2 points

fair enough.

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11 points

Sure, head is great. But have you ever actually cared about someone? That shit’s tight.

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1 point

that shit IS tight

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11 points
*

As a guy, snuggles can be faaaarrr harder to get than sexual release

(Yes I realize I worded that atrociously, my autism kicked in halfway through typing “harder to get than sex” but tbh if you’re hooking up with people you can probably sneak a snuggle in, but you need someone who’s comfortable snuggling with you to get snuggles, but sexual release can be a solo job. So thats how you get the more technically accurate, but 5000x creepier statement that I ended up with)

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5 points

I appreciated the journey of this comment

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-1 points

TBH I find the idea quite off putting, both giving and receiving. Never been a fan

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10 points

Found the automaton spy

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8 points

You need to call 911 immediately

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