201 points

Half of those meetings are business MBAs asking “Why isn’t more getting done on this project?”

permalink
report
reply
96 points

The other half are about useful things, like what to do next, how your interfaces will look like, and “if you need help, just tell me, I can escalate it”.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

Oh, and how to prepare for the meeting on staging the discussion for the rollout of the plan for the new strategic initiative (first iteration)

I’m not exaggerating by that much, tbh.

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points

As opposed to non-business MNBAs of course

permalink
report
parent
reply
22 points

Isn’t that just the NBA? And what are those guys doing in business meetings?

permalink
report
parent
reply
28 points

Dunking on other projects.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Major in Not Business Administration? :D

Also:

MNBA may refer to:

  • 2-Methyl-6-nitrobenzoic anhydride, a condensing agent used in chemistry laboratories

  • Mongolian National Basketball Association

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I feel this in my soul

permalink
report
parent
reply
194 points

The job is defending people who get work done from people who don’t get work done.

permalink
report
reply
33 points

LOL. So true.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

This is the perfect description.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Ex test lead, this 100%.

My job was to organise the work between the workers, keep the business away from my subordinates, and only waste their time when they had the complete information being asked for the specific reason.

And if I wasn’t doing one of the things above, my job was to pick up the horrible things that no one else wanted/I had experience and domain knowledge in (eg : accessibility testing)

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

should be, ftfy :-(

permalink
report
parent
reply
126 points

0900 till 0930 - 15 min standup meeting.
0930 till 1000 - focus time.
1000 till 1100 - Pre meeting for customer meeting at 1100.
1100 till 1200 - Customer meeting.
1230 till 1300 - Post Meeting catchup.
1300 till 1330 - focus time.
1330 till 1430 - JIRA board update meeting.
1430 till 1500 - priorities review meeting.
1500 till 1645 - focus time.
1645 till 1730 - EOD standup.

permalink
report
reply
86 points

“Are you don’t yet? Why aren’t you done yet? Help me update infinite plans that will be outdated in a week. Also, I just promised a bunch of stuff… all that stuff we already promised, I think you can do that faster.”

When I was a dev, I once had a PM with no technical skills that decided he would “learn to program to help catch us up”… He did not succeed.

permalink
report
parent
reply
50 points

Hey, at least he had the right idea. He saw that the delay was due to a lack of skilled workers and tried to fix that problem instead of just talking more about the project. That’s more awareness than most PMs have in my experience.

permalink
report
parent
reply
34 points

If a PM has enough time to try to learn programming on the side, then they are a shit PM. A PM should shield the team from unneccessary meetings, be the main initial contact point and the initial refinement guy. Those are 4 seperate jobs at once.

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

PMs act that way because people above them ask for updates regularly. Bad PMs don’t know how to push back. If you need things done faster, the answer is usually “we need more resources”.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

"Are you don’t yet?

Yes, I am don’t work here anymore, good bye.

permalink
report
parent
reply
56 points

You get focus time?

Also, what the hell is the point in an EOD standup if you’re gonna have another one in zero working minutes?

permalink
report
parent
reply
42 points
*

That concept is lost on so many people and I don’t understand why. One of the last teams I was on had two weekly meetings. One was 9:00 AM Monday morning and the other was 4:00 PM on Fridays. They were both running through all of our projects and always seemed surprised that the Monday update was the same as the previous Friday update.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

It is to their advantage to be act surprised, therefore they are “surprised”, see? This was your “opportunity” to show how dedicated you are the company, having worked all weekend long…

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I have a blocker for Friday afternoon meetings.

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points
*

You get focus time?

They need to give you some time to answer emails from management 🙄

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

“Focus time” is the name of the meeting.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Because even if you’re not working, you’ll probably think about problems overnight

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

So what’s the point of the EOD one?

I honestly see zero benefit in it unless it’s a 24h operation with a shift handover.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

You block it out and call it something else

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

Sitting in a meeting right now…

This is such a an accurate comment.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

We do standups twice a week. At worst they run a half hour for my team of about 10 people. Usually we’re done in 15-20 minutes. Please tell me it’s just an absolutely made up joke that you have an hour and 15 minutes of stand up meetings every day. I would shoot myself.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

I had a job that had > 1hr standups for our two man project because we met with QA, BA, and management and they wanted everything changed every day so we had to explain why we couldn’t do anything with constantly changing requirements every morning.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

How long did you last there? I would have quit before the first meeting was over.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

The really funny bit is that the Standup comes from Agile, which is a software development process class exactly about being able to cope with frequent changing requirements, and the Standup is definitelly not the point when new requirements are introduced.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Don’t worry mate, it is a joke. But judging by the other comments it is closer to reality than a joke for some.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Does a lot happen between an EOD standup, and the morning standup? Pick a lane lol

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

Well yea, plenty happens between 1700 and 0900. That is why the 15 min standup takes 30 min.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

You are fortunate that it takes “only” 30 minutes.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

They need to have full calendars so that they look productive. Those meetings are for them, not for you. You still have to attend tho.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Got to hate those meeting where you are marked as optional but you are required to attend.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Hey, you are actually double booked for the nth meeting for annual “Goals” that’s coming up!

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Too real.

permalink
report
parent
reply
92 points
*

No, this is incompetent management.

Senior engineers write enabling code/scaffolding, and review code, and mentor juniors. They also write feature code.

Lead engineers code and lead dev teams.

Principal engineers code, and talk about tech in meetings.

Senior Principal engineers, and distinguished technologists/fellows talk about tech, and maybe sometimes code.

Good managers go to meetings and shield the engineers from the stream of exec corporate bs. Infrequently they may rope any of the engineers in this chain in to explain the decisions that the engineers make along the way.

Bad managers bring engineers in to these meetings frequently.

Terrible managers make the engineering decisions and push those to the engineers.

permalink
report
reply
16 points

TIL my company has only bad managers.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Good managers go to meetings and shield the engineers from the stream of exec corporate bs

Was lucky enough to work with one… once.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

There is a reason I keep refusing to take the “Lead” position. I know what I’m good at.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

Now I don’t know, but I been told
It’s hard to run with the weight of gold
Other hand I have heard it said
It’s just as hard with the weight of lead…

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

bruh, your company has money for all those layers in your lasagna?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

your company has money for no one above mid-level engineers to be actually building the product?

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I’ve worked for startups too; everyone does everything all at the same time! Let the chaos reign! But it is fun in its own way.

I work for a large company now after the startup I worked for was acquired. Hierarchy, bureaucracy, layers, we’ve got it all. For worse and for better though, it allows me to focus and specialize on what I’m awesome at and furgeddaboddit (ahem! delegate) the stuff that I suck at to those who excel at those tasks.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points
*

I came here to say the same.

People in the technical career track spend most of their time making software, one way or another (there comes a point were you’re doing more preparation to code than actual coding).

As soon as you jump into the management career track it’s mostly meetings to report the team’s progress to upper management, even if you’re supposedly “technically oriented”.

Absolutelly, as you become a more senior tech things become more and more about figuring out what needs to be done at higher and higher levels (i.e. systems design, software development process design) which results in needing to interact with more and more stakeholders (your whole team, other teams, end users, management) hence more meetings, but you still get to do lots of coding or at least code-adjacent stuff (i.e. design).

permalink
report
parent
reply
42 points

Do you have excess creative energy?

Pour it into discussion that achieves nothing of value.

permalink
report
reply
12 points

Have you considered writing your own projects that you have to hide from your employers, and be careful with whom you discuss, so as to avoid the legal complications of the company owning your work?

permalink
report
parent
reply

Programmer Humor

!programmer_humor@programming.dev

Create post

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

  • Keep content in english
  • No advertisements
  • Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics

Community stats

  • 7.7K

    Monthly active users

  • 978

    Posts

  • 38K

    Comments