85 points

Like…I get it…but at the same time, they’re young, taut, and hot. Just let these beautifully sculpted human beings have sex with each other? Let them enjoy this one life that we have? Give them some birth control & leave them be. What fucking jealous, irrational prudes. 🙄

I hope they have all kinds of crazy sex, just because they can.

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67 points

Fortunately, they’re not actually small for that purpose. They’re just small beds made of recycled material.

The Olympic committee isn’t that naive. They’re distributing literally hundreds of thousands of condoms and related safe sex accessories.

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33 points
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The Olympic committee isn’t that naive. They’re distributing literally hundreds of thousands of condoms and related safe sex accessories.

It’s up to the host country how to handle the horniness of the Olympic village, not the committee. Some countries in the past have taken measures to discourage it.

FWIW, the Olympic village has been an STD hotbed in the past. But distributing protection is way more likely to help with that than trying to keep the athletes off of each other.

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6 points

Fair enough, I conflated the Olympic committee with the Olympic organizers. :)

In any case, someone is realistic about these things because they’re taking some steps to try to keep things clean while they get dirty.

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21 points

I wish I was hot enough to be fucked by an Olympic athlete. I’d probably die just trying to think about keeping up with their endurance, but what a way to go out!

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21 points

Look, I’m a kinda fat 30 something dude, and I just do kegels and edge and I can fuck for like 45 minutes solid. Athletes waste all their time exercising non-erogenous parts of their body. If gooning was an Olympic sport, I’d take the gold.

Tl;Dr: Don’t have sex with an Olympian, have sex with me.

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19 points

Please expand this to about 1000 words and you got a new copypasta goin

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3 points

haha hiiiii

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1 point

“If I barely move my body I can last for a super long time. The trick to longer sex is less exertion, all these people getting sweaty and tired are doing it wrong”

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5 points
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i feel its just bitter ugly old people in charge of this stuff

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1 point

Also film it plz.

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49 points
32 points

It was kinda obvious tbh. French and anti-sex are not two things that I’d normally put together.

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15 points

Plus they’ve already loaded up on Olympic brand condoms

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17 points

Man, if they could get sign off to use the Olympics logo, it would more than make up for donating almost any number of condoms just in advertising options.

Side by side shots of different pairs of pole vaulters flopping onto their landing mats. Scenes of different sports, starting with slow ones and cuts to different ones. Slowly, it starts to jump to faster sports, where the athletes are making more vocalizations, by the end it’s just a focus on curlers furiously brooming while they all do their excited yells of joy and then a moment of silence while we zoom in on some shotput throwers faces just as they’re throwing, and then cut to a rapid series of divers splashing into the water, audio overlay of a soccer commentator screaming “goal”, and then a pan across the cheering crowd. “Trojex: for when the world comes together”, with five overlapping condoms in the background, fading to the Olympic logo.

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16 points

Thanks! I was trying to work out how the hell it was supposed to work. Because it sure wouldn’t stop me.

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39 points

Nobody has ever had sex outside of a bed.

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unmatched even years later… what a wonderful format. i love reading things backwards.

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12 points

It’s the stupidest thing, and i cant wait for people to stop using that shitty website

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Anyone who thinks a twin bed isn’t big enough to have sex on, has never been horny enough to break a twin size bed fucking on it.

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8 points

sorry, we can’t have sex because the bed is too small” said no one ever.

Id fuck on a fucking face cloth on the floor… which might actually make cleanup easier too.

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