92 points

The World War Z book did a good job talking about this. Things like zombies not being affected by overpressure from explosions making bombs less effective, and then ultimately the true downfall of the military: bad leaders with no clue what they were doing ordering soldiers to their deaths in stupid ways

permalink
report
reply
48 points

Yeah I remember that part! They brought SAM launchers, radar, jammers and camo netting to a zombie fight.

I really like how they showed the military adapting though. Flying C-130s sparingly to save fuel. Running attack dirgibles, and returning infantry to formation tactics with .22 rifles and bite resistant suits.

permalink
report
parent
reply
48 points

LOL, I can see the Pentagon showing up at CCI:

“We need 500 million .22LR rounds.”

“Well cert… Uh… 500 million?”

“Here’s the purchase order. Good to pick up next Friday?”

Not a fan of the movie, but Brad Pitt taping magazines around his forearms for armor was brilliant. Light, 100% tooth-proof, easy to shed, easy to replace, all that.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Would we buy from CCI now that Vista sold to the Czechs? Hornady save us!

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Don’t forget the Lobo. Brilliant multi tool.

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

My hot take is that zombies were invented so that American movie heroes finally have an enemy they can believably outsmart.

permalink
report
reply
61 points

“But those are people running at us, we were totally caught off guard!” says the person trained to mow down maas groups of people.

permalink
report
reply
25 points
*

On the one hand, it would be the national guard shooting at the zombies, and not regular military.

On the other hand, I’m from Ohio, and know what the national guard can and will do…

I guess my point is they’d still shoot, they’d just miss a lot?

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Center mass shots not working at all would take a lot of un-learning for sure

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Four undead in Ohio
Four undead in Ohio

permalink
report
parent
reply
45 points

Conventional infantry tactics don’t really work against zombies. For instance, suppressing fire; you can’t suppress zombies, because they don’t care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head. You can’t inflict any amount of damage that’s going to force a retreat. Artillery and bombs are only going to effect them if they’re in the direct blast zone; shrapnel still has to penetrate the brain.

Your best bets are likely going to be napalm and flame throwers. I’m not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I’m pretty sure that they don’t have tons of flamethrowers.

permalink
report
reply
37 points
*

Conventional infantry tactics from 1945 certainly don’t work. We haven’t fought like that in forever.

Modern infantry tactics would be “Sit inside my nice warm armoured vehicle while the gunner shreds everything with a 25mm autocannon.” And I think that would work just fine against zombies.

Also any competent military shouldn’t have the slightest difficulty getting headshots on a slow moving target that isn’t trying to evade or use cover.

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

You haven’t shot with people that were in the military, have you? :P

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Out of curiosity, how do they shoot in your experience? I’ve never shot but have friends and family in the armed forces who’ve I’ve spoken about this to and I don’t doubt the military could win against a horde assuming they’re regular walking dead zombies and not left 4 dead ones. You don’t have to have perfect aim when you can unload at height level into a crowd.

Also, tanks.

permalink
report
parent
reply
34 points

For instance, suppressing fire; you can’t suppress zombies, because they don’t care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head.

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but…

Without claiming outright magic damage to muscle and bone still matters. A bipedal creature absolutely requires certain muscles and bones to remain upright. If a zombie gets hit with a rifle round that blows out a 3" chunk of its spine then it can’t stand up. That kind of damage is easily done with a 30 caliber rifle round (7.76) let alone the venerable .50 caliber. Even the relatively small .223 / 5.56 that’s carried by standard infantry will remove muscle and break bones.

Your average grunt is going to figure out real quick where and how they need to shoot in order to slow or stop these things. If head shots aren’t possible and it takes too much ammo for body shots they’ll start aiming for the knees and ankles, because again that zombie can’t run / shamble at you if it has no feet or it’s ankle or knee has been blown into a hundred pieces.

So when Tommy Tactical or Isaac Infantry mag dumps 20 rounds of 5.56 into a zombie it may not be “dead” but it sure as shit has taken critical damage to its musculoskeletal system and will almost certainly not able to stand upright. Ol’ Mike the Mighty on the Ma Deuce will reduce a hundred zombies into a quivering pile in 60 seconds or less all by himself.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it’s crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

Without claiming outright magic […]

…We’re still talking about zombies, right? Animated corpses that have an overwhelming need to consume human flesh, and can only be killed with overwhelming brain damage? I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of magic right there. If you’re talking about something like the cordyceps fungi–which, to infect humans, would still need some kind of magical power–you still have a very, very finite limit on how long a ‘human’ will survive (about four weeks without food, give or take), so you should be able to just wait them out, rather than needing to proactively kill them.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it’s crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

Less dangerous, yes. Not not dangerous, depending on which version of zombies you’re talking about specifically.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but

Be non-credible, not wrong. Good post!

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

Artillery and bombs can shred/destroy the body, making it hard to move, if there is enough body left to move.

A .50 to the arm isn’t going to slow a zombie down, but the knee? Kinda hard to walk with one leg. 25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Artillery is an area denial weapon. If you have a hoard a couple 105 shells are going to take apart rotten flesh with ease. Mortars are similar and more mobile.

Mine fields are effective as a way to immobilise and thin the herd.

Choke points work exceptionally well, and claymores can be rigged at head height.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Kinda hard to walk with one leg

Zombies can and do drag themselves, or even worm their way across fields. Until the brain is destroyed, they’re a threat.

25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Sure, but, again, unless you hit the head, they’re still a threat. And meanwhile, you’ve blown through a thousand rounds of ammo.

Artillery is an area denial weapon.

You can only deny area when people aren’t willing to charge into it. Zombies aren’t doing massed charges though; each and every zombie is Leroy Jenkins, acting entirely independently, and with zero foresight.

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller, as long as all the mechanical parts and the operator cockpit were completely covered so that a zombie couldn’t damage anything. Like, say, some of the mine removal vehicles. Moving around is going to attract the zombies, and then running them over would eliminate them.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

Conventional weapons can reduce hoards to manageable amount. And a zombie dragging itself across the ground is much easier to deal with.

If I saw thousands of zombies, a machine gun is what I want. Aim head at the average head height, and make the barrels smoke. It’s not suppressing fire, it’s crowd management.

Remember you can spike a zombie on the ground easier than when they are standing. Immobilise, THEN neutralise.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Zombies can and do drag themselves, or even worm their way across fields. Until the brain is destroyed, they’re a threat.

Head shots are much easier when zombies are moving slower. I suspect a platoon with 8 guys shooting an M2 and the rest with scoped rifles could easily protect an encampment from thousands of zombies.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Give Marvin Heeymeyer a Case asphalt compactor, a welder, and some steel. We’ll have this problem licked before dinner.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller

The most effective weapon would be a steam roller equipped with a machine gun that fires lightsabers.

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

I’m not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I’m pretty sure that they don’t have tons of flamethrowers.

/unjerk so googling around slows that the US military stopped using them in the 1970s. TIL.

/rejerk

Say that three times fast and a SIG sales rep appears behind you.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I thought that they still used them for destroying some munitions? Like, those burn pits in Iraq that caused so many cases of cancer? IDK.

You can quite legally buy them in the US though. They’re pricey, but, hey, you never know, right?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

And you’re certainly free to fabricate one!*

* Except in California, because California.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Ukrainian thermite drones would like to have a word

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

You’d still need to hit each zombie individually though.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Not with thermite, it spreads flammable liquid everywhere. Look for “dragon” drone videos if you want. Zombies are unlikely to try to to jump over the burning fluid and if anything probably will spread it further and on themselves so eventually will burn. It’s probably one of thepre effective remote ways to deal with them in modern warfare. Especially since drones are bloody loud so zombies are more likely to chase the drones instead of operators who can be entirely hidden.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

I think tanks would be their best bet - mounted machine guns and can carry lots of ammo, and if they’re surrounded and about to be overrrun then they can just drive away - through the zombies. It’s a tank, it has torque up the wazoo.

Actually, no, barbed wire would be their best bet - the blade doesn’t have to move if the zombies slice themselves apart on it.

In practice, just use both!

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

A tank that chews through 5 gallons per mile? Who’s going to be sitting in the tanker truck to do refils?

permalink
report
parent
reply
30 points
*

To many of them!

🍻

permalink
report
reply
3 points

Here, here!

permalink
report
parent
reply

NonCredibleDefense

!noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works

Create post

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be nice

Do not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a “credible” source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it’s non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don’t care if you’re Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don’t want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how “open source” and “easy to find” it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody’s art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art’s source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a “haha people that I hate died… haha” punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don’t be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

Community stats

  • 4.3K

    Monthly active users

  • 1.8K

    Posts

  • 23K

    Comments