I’m in favor of royal exploration therapy in the meantime, just so he can understand all his options. We’ll ask relevant questions like:

• Do you think about your title when you masterbate?

• Were you ever touched inappropriately as a child?

• What role do you enjoy in sex?

• Does your royal… confusion stem from how it was modeled in your family?

• Do you get aroused at the thought of suppressing peasant uprisings?

• Are you aware that you’ll never be a real leader? You’ll never be valid without becoming authoritarian and suppressing free speech. You can always desist at any time, but there will be irreversible damage if you change your mind too late.