Feeling pressured into marriage is a common issue for aromantics dating an alloromantic, regardless of sexuality.
Is alloromantic the opposite of aromantic? I tried to understand this by reading online definitions but am not sure at all.
The prefix Allo just means other, so when you have a pair of things the other one will normally become Allo-thing. Because we don’t make words the culturally accepted default position until there is something to contrast it with, most instances of Allo will describe the culturally accepted default.
Aromantic - Alloromantic
Asexual - Allosexual
Autistic - Allistic
The prefix seems unnecessary and doesn’t even make sense with your last example. Why is it needed when the a- prefix works perfectly fine to contrast with the existing word as-is?
How does an aromantic even get to the point of being pressured into a marriage (at least in a society without arranged marriage)? Why are they dating in the first place? Am I misunderstanding how that works?
Same ways gay people get ‘straight married’.
Could be family pressure. Could be internalized hetreonormativity making them feel like they ‘should’ do this. Could be they haven’t really realized, come to terms with, or accepted their own identity.
I mean, think of a ‘stereotypical’ aromantic guy. He’s interested in women, and sleeps around a lot, but despite not getting feelings, might ‘settle down’ with one partner because its ‘normal, respectable’, even if it’s not something that makes him happy. Probably won’t make the wife happy either, but that’s it’s own issue, why she might marry a guy that ‘doesn’t do romance’.
I’m firmly of the opinion that aromantic people shouldn’t fucking date, since the whole goddamn point of dating is forming romantic relationships. Similarly, if someone identifies as asexual, they need to be completely up-front about that, so that no one that has a normal sexuality wastes their time.
Given that I had an 11 year marriage to someone that knew they were asexual and didn’t tell me for the first decade, that shit fucks you up. And I’ve known another woman that was in the same boat; her boyfriend loved her, but entirely neglected her sexuality, and it fuckin’ wrecked her self-esteem because her needs weren’t being met at all.
