The real life pro tip is always in the comments.
What about missionary, though?
I guess you’d get donut sugar in your belly button? But if your already heading down the road of fucking donuts, that might not be a concern.
Probably get ants though.
Probably get ants though.
You have saved me from all kinds of trouble with your sensible warnings. I did not think this through well enough.
If I might trouble you further, o wise one, how about up against the shed wall, each in a pair of welly boots, standing in a paddling pool half full of water?
Wellys?! You sick degenerate fuck. Safe sex with the homies starts and ends with Crocs.