Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place!
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
A “queer bar” opened in my town recently, which should be a cool thing except one of the “big names” in the “queer nightlife” scene said this horseshit about it:
“University students bring their prejudices in from wherever they come from and are not often educated on queer issues,”
the fucker says. This is a coded bit of xenophobic bullshit, referring to the perception that our local university is just somewhere “immigrants!” get scholarships to, and I hate it so much. Almost forgot this was a retirement town and old crotchety fucks run everything.
Came out to someone today
I’m officially on waitlists for doctors to refer me for both top and bottom surgeries (through public healthcare. Could theoretically go private if I wanted to speed things up a lot, but not an option financially right now.)
~1 month to see a GP with specialized training who can refer me for top surgery (and then from what I know 2+ years before the surgery itself). ~2 years to see a psychiatrist for referral for bottom surgery (and then 8+ years for surgery).
Feels good because this is some sort of concrete progress. HRT changes are so slow
Idk if I want bottom surgery, but I figure if I do, I’ll know I do in a decade.
Congrats! I don’t know why the fuck it takes so long.
In Canada, it’s gonna be about 9 to 12 months from my initial referral to surgery for my bottom surgery and it’s covered. No idea why it takes so much longer where you’re at other than TERF fuckery.
What the heck, where are you in Canada??? I’m in Canada lol 💀 though I do think the FTM wait times are usually longer (but not like a decade longer??)
I’m in the Texas of Canada, so, iirc we only get something like 20 bottom surgeries a year? And we have ~500 people waiting for them.
lol no way so am I. Unless Berta somehow isn’t the Texas of Canada (anglo northern ontario has a decent claim too). They don’t send you to GrS in Montréal? I only know the MTF pathway, it’s all GrS except for FFS which is mostly in Montréal.
The UCP gov wasn’t funding ANY gender affirming surgeries for a while, from the election to about a month ago, so that could be why your wait is so out of whack. It wasn’t clear if it was a wait for them to fill cabinet positions and rehire the AHS board or just regular evil or just regular incompetence from our illustrious premier and her cabinet of morons. If you’re getting your stuff done in Berta, surgeries wait times especially “electives” are bad (I’m a nurse I see it every day) - and for whatever reason a lot of gender affirming surgeries are considered cosmetic and elective, I paid for my adams apple reduction for example.
sex stuff
i cried again after topping, I think imma just give up on sex now
Cw sexual assault, venting
spoiler
so someone in my trans support group befriended me and over months, crossed my boundaries as far as a romantic relationship goes. Like, they would make romantic overtures, and I would turn them down. Then they would like… argue with me that actually it could work. I myself am v non confrontational and with pushback, would cave and be like I guess I’m open to it but I don’t feel anything. CW Ulstimately, this led to a situation though where I was in a hotel room with them and they pressured me into cuddling, then they were kissing me, touching me inappropriately, I was tipsy and high and I didn’t know what to do in the moment… they were using what was a vulnerable situation to take advantage. They even recognized like halfway through this that they could tell it was making me uncomfortable, then they kept going.
This happened a few weeks ago. I felt weird about it bit ultimately blamed myself for not being more firm. For like, freezing ans not saying no, but trying to communicate with body language at the time.
Anyway, so last week I find out that basically, no, they aren’t a bumbling idiot who can’t take social cues, they recognized that they were breaking my boundaries and trying to convince me to stick around for months. They told this to a mutual friend (who has now broken contact). They made me feel fucking crazy. They made me feel like all this time this was my fault they weren’t getting the message.
I feel intensely violated. I feel incredibly angry, betrayed, … this person showed up when I was literally at my most vulnerable and tried to fucking date me after I said NO multiple times. Tbh I feel like shit and I can’t think about anything else. I can’t work. I just stare at my computer really. Like, I don’t wanna feel this way, I don’t wanna worry about this bullshit, I want to transition in peace. I did tell the trans support group coordinator though and they have been removed, because they were also basically treating this support group like a potential dating pool for trans women who were significantly younger than them. They themselves were transfem but they also gave intense chaser vibes. I didn’t recognize it at the time though, which I feel stupid for.
I am taking a mental health day today and I think I’m gonna go thrift shopping and stuff. Idk. Sorry for the vent. It’s like all i can really thinknabout and tbh they know where I live and I’m kinda scared they’re gonna show up at my house too…||
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. what an absolutely disgusting way to treat someone. something like this is so complicated and shitty that having days where you need to just be to yourself makes sense. send warm vibes to you and hoping you never see that person again
