Toxic masculinity and autism makes it hard to open up to loved ones, let alone strangers.
It can be worth it to push through. It might just be for a sanity check. However, often, what is a huge issue to you, is far smaller to others. Once you start breaking it down, with someone who knows what they are doing, the problem ends up a lot smaller than it seemed.
So you are in favor of people taking the off ramp instead of reaching out for any kind of support because someone else might have it worse.
Edit: Maybe I misread what you are telling them to push through, but it really sounds like you are minimizing their concerns with the second sentence.
How tf did you get that out of a comment about going to therapy and getting professional help?
You’ve completely misunderstood my point.
Going to therapy is hard, particularly for men. However it’s worth putting the effort in to go.
Often the problems you are facing look huge and insurmountable. However, when you actually start to truly attack them, they are a paper tiger. Often all you actually need to do is change you mindset and perspective, and they crumble. A mental health professional can often guide you through this process. It’s the difference between being trapped in a trap laden maze alone Vs with company and a detailed map. You still need to walk the path, but there are far fewer dead ends, and the support you need to do it.
I was diagnosed with ADHD (and ASD) several years ago. The treatment helped massively. The changes I’ve made were often tiny. However, by changing a few points early in my thought processes, the changes rippled outwards. What were massive, looming problems, dissolved like fog. The root problems were obvious to a professional, and are now far more obvious to me. On my own, I couldn’t recognise them however. Once I could see them, I could hit the bullseye, and the rest of the dominoes well like a house of cards, checkmate.
It can be so worth it. Sometimes I’m stressing about this great nebulous cloud of bullshit that just seems insurmountable and existential, but then when I explain it to someone, it’s like… 3 things. And yeah, those things may legitimately be a source of stress, but knowing that they are finite and number, and probably solvable, makes daily life a lot less daunting.
OP was so sick of the comments being filled with ‘not all men’ they changed the meme lol
Well more money for those extra large tires and truck lifts parts…
i genuinely hate that phrase, it’s usually used by people to get you to stop complaining about a valid issue
…or people that don’t otherwise know how to respond, but want to acknowledge your statement.
I’d say more than half the crappy situations I end up in are both outside of and beyond my control. Sometimes, you just have to ride the suck train until things improve. Therapy is a powerful tool, but it has its limits, and it’s important to know when and how it can be helpful.
I know a female supervisor that uses it daily to demean her employee’s valid concerns and needs. She was nicknamed The Witch and she has witch paraphernalia and decorations all over her office. She knows how far she can push and abuse people without raising any alarms to the executive staff.
They want you to stop complaining because they have no solution or there isn’t one. Bitching isn’t going to do any good.
I’ve about had it with all these people complaining about COVID. Listen, you’ll be fine. You cough a bit, you sometimes develop symptoms that stay with you for the rest of your life, and if you’re over 60 you die. You would be dying soon anyway, what’s the use of complaining? This is just how things are.
Covid-19 vaccine researchers, if your opinion had any merit.
And you know what? I really need to hear less about all this climate change shit. It’s done. We fucked the world to get ours. I got my yacht and my mansion. Oh, you didn’t get yours? Well yeah, your kids will die. My kids might die too, but if they sell my yacht they’ll probably live more than yours anyway lmao. It’s over, you lost, gg, stop complaining. Bitching isn’t going to do any good.
Therapy doesn’t fix any of the most pressing issues I have. I’d wager about 85% or more of my stress is economic or environmental in nature. My big three worries are how am I gonna afford a house by myself, how am i going to be able to retire on little money and without kids, and is the envrioment going to lose the ability to sustain human life while I’m still alive and on nothing more than a fixed income.
I don’t need to journal my thoughts and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist, I need some damn material security in my life.
The thing therapy has helped me with in regards to that is feeling okay despite it all. Being content despite not having all of our wants and needs fulfilled is a valuable skill.
Being content despite not having needs met feels like a skill thats more valuable to my boss than me. Nah im gonna get my needs met.
There’s only so much that can be done to meet one’s needs. There will always be wants and needs that go unfulfilled, it’s just the nature of being human. Being able to exist with that, without it causing you extreme distress, is a very valuable coping skill that’s lost in a lot of people.
This doesn’t mean eschew meeting your needs completely, but simply acknowledging that some may be actually impossible to fulfill right now, at least safely, and working on an actual viable plan, instead of panicking and doing whatever short-term fix seems handy.
I understand your point, and I also think a bit in this direction. But i think there may be two counterpoints.
First you beeing depressed over the status and worrying at home and online about it, is not really helping your or doing anything against your boss.
Second, as i understand it, the goal is not to get really content, but to get more control over your feelings. It is perfectly fine if zou feel sad or angry over the situation. It shows you what you want or do not want. But this doesn’t need to control your life. If you have the possibility you should definitely use your anger to give you energy for the fight for better working conditions. But if you can not, you should your feelings taking complete control over you
I think it is worth pointing out that while therapy can certainly help you manage stress better and be more content maybe, if you are truly struggling and falling further behind here in the US, no amount of therapy (which you can’t afford anyway) is going to make you stop being hungry, sleep deprived, heal severe injury or illness, or give your home back. And going without food, sleep, or housing can lead to death.
Those items are a bit trickier for sure. There’s a biological need for them and so they can be pressing. There’s a certain bare minimum that yeah, you can’t just not have. Anything past that, though, past the absolute critical for life level, is something you can learn to be content with, learn to not desire more than, and instead just be thankful for the excess above starvation that you enjoy in this moment.
If you are content without a need being filled, it does not fit my description of need.
So again you are saying it is what it is
You have needs that go unfulfilled all the time. You’ve never been hungry without any immediate food? Part of being content is being able to go without needs for a certain period of time, being safe in knowing that it ISN’T going to be forever.
This, of course, doesn’t mean you can forego every need forever. Yeah, being without food or water too long can and will kill you, but that doesn’t mean you have to have that need 100% met 100% of the time.
Of note, I’m not saying that people just shouldn’t eat. That’s the kind of need that we as a society should have figured out by now, truly. But going without SOMETIMES okay, and learning that is huge.
True. It’s also a good formula for PTSD. When your traumas have to take a back seat to material needs, disorders develop.
What if your needs take a back seat to your trauma? That can’t be good either.
