I vote we give the children new weapons.

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65 points

I think the public school system is doing just fine on that front…

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The only thing that will stop a kid with a gun is another kid with a gun. /s

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9 points

Because knowledge is power!!!

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13 points

Child soldier strategem.

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6 points

Smaller hotbox with same DPS!

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6 points

Dammit, no using Oddjob!

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2 points
*

True they probably won’t need as much drugs to get the same effect when they hotbox their drop pod on the way down to planet.

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6 points

I mean the children yearns for the mines

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6 points

No, that’s the cyborgs.

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5 points

I vote we launch the children as weapons.

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4 points

Why not both?

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3 points

Orbital stroke strategem

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63 points

Sigh. The tyranny of the majority.

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69 points

Sounds like someone needs a visit from their democracy officer

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24 points

“fuck them kids”

- Michael Jordan

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8 points
  • Jared from Subway
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-1 points
Removed by mod
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6 points
  • Drake
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5 points
  • Michael Jackson
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17 points

Interesting that they made it a choice. Typically the weapon or whatever is a reward for reaching X amount of donations. I respect it.

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85 points

Not only is it a choice, it’s a choice the community has had several opportunities to make and has failed each time, and it’s starting to become a funny meta-story of its own at this point.

Operation: Legitimate Undertaking would be the first time we had to make this choice, and that choice was to unlock either the AT mines or a new rocket launcher. To unlock either, we had to liberate the planets where they could be manufactured, but for lore/game mechanic reasons, we could only save the factory workers on one of those planets, before the other one would ultimately succumb to invading forces.

To unlock the AT mines, we’d have to liberate several planets before we could even reach the destination planet to begin liberating it and we’d have cut it very close to the deadline (because absolute failure was the third option, if we couldn’t liberate either planet in time), but the path toward the rocket launcher planet was significantly shorter. So the community banded together to liberate the planet with the rocket launcher, since that was at least a more easily-guaranteed victory. The AT mines would have to wait for another day.

The next time the AT mines would become available again was several weeks later, and the task to unlock them this time wasn’t so much a “choice”, as much as it was a challenge. Enter, Operation: Metallic Harvest. The task was for the community to collectively kill 2 billion Automaton units by the deadline. “Easy, in the bag”, the community said to itself, as we had just come hot off the heels of a similar major order to kill 2 billion Terminid units, which we had completed well before the deadline. 2 billion kills? No big deal, those mines are as good as mine get it hah hah hah.

Unfortunately, this major order came just after the announcement that the previous major order was actually glitched and every player in a mission was getting points for every other players’ kills, basically making it so that the progression was 4 times faster than it should have been. So our previous confidence was misplaced, and caused us to misjudge our ability to actually get 2 billion kills in time, resulting in a failure of this major order. Once again, the AT mines were put on hold.

That brings us to today, with Operation: Trolley Problem, where the developers are basically giving us the mines at this point, but it’s of course still up to us to accomplish, where we have to once again choose which planet to liberate. Realistically, they could have given us any other explanation for what’s happening on the other planet, and we could’ve had those mines. But the choice was mines, or children.

We’re Helldivers. We’re Super Earth’s elite. You think we’re really about to let suffering children die? No, we’re the good guys, and at least half of chose children are of legal age to work in munitions factories, so saving those children means saving the future of democracy. Sorry mines. Maybe next time.

Honestly, I hope that the community continues to never unlock the AT mines. I want to be able to look back at this game in five years and see the storied history of all the failed attempts to unlock them.

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24 points

I enjoyed reading that. Helldivers sounds like a fun game, and I’ll be rooting to keep the mines locked forever now, too - no matter how much the children yearn for them.

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14 points

You can enlist (for a small freedom fee) at the local recruitment office and become a Helldiver yourself.

You can help spread freedom and democracy across the galaxy by helping Super Earth gather totally not oil and destroying opposing, and obviously undemocratic, ideologies.

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4 points

Hey, here’s an idea, talking about interesting community narratives.

Have you considered that the democracy might have been managed?

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5 points

My bet, given how you budget for this type of PR stuff, is that it was basically the players picking the story that got told while they got a new weapon and a charity donation happened. Like if the players hadn’t chosen to do so, there would have been some contrivance for someone certainly has to save the children. Since they saved them, now the children will get together and give you this thank you gift, or something.

Illusion of choice, but not in a bad way.

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2 points

Well, this is the third time the community has failed to secure the AT mines, so it wouldn’t be in the spirit of the game for them to just give them to us anyway.

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1 point

I just learned about some of the additional context from another comment, so it definitely might not be part of this branch in the narrative. Having spent at least a little time and energy developing the weapon, they’re not gonna just waste it, and having filled out the budget paperwork for a charity donation, it’s was also going to happen one way or another.

It’s not bad or anything, it’s just how you tell a story involving unpredictable interactions, “being a business that has a budget and employee salaries”, and also the PR 101 lesson of “never withhold charity”.

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12 points
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2 points

Link please?

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2 points
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Deleted by creator
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12 points

That’s awesome

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