I was on Reddit and used he/she. I was scolded by about 15 posters as to why I should be using they.
smh
I see where they’re coming from. They is way safer in general. Covers people who are male, female, non binary or others. That being said reddit does have a problem with being unable to educate people. They immediately have to just insult and yell at you for it. I don’t get it. It’s just way easier to be polite. Takes effort to get angry and yell at someone. This is why I generally make only positive or jokey comments.
You would have thought things would change after reddit abused a family after the Boston bombing but nope. Same toxicity at an all time high.
Why would I want to respect morons who dont give me the same benefit of the doubt though?
In places where assumptions cause kneejerk downvotes and comments like you explained, I wont take the time to make sure to be 100% respectful towards people.
You just insulted entire groups of people (that exist outside of reddit) by calling them morons and then said you won’t take the time to be respectful towards people.
You are actively part of the problem and you do not have the right to complain.
You don’t get to disrespect people pre-emptively and then whine that no one respects you or gives you the benefit of the doubt. You aren’t giving it to them so why would anyone bother giving it to you?
Id recommend checking that behavior because it is 100% the cause of why people don’t “give you the benefit of the doubt.”.
Why take the time at all then? If you’re going to be rude you clearly don’t care about educating the person.
So you really just do it for some personal validation?
I would say it takes effort to be polite. What takes no effort is being rude or dismissive.
Maybe you’re just naturally a positive person though which the majority of people aren’t (at least not on Reddit/lemmy)
I don’t understand that. Getting upset or angry requires actual effort. It’s exhausting and taxing. Raises your blood pressure, stresses you out, causes a bunch of other knots in muscles and shit. It’s just actively more effort and more damaging than just shrugging and moving on. I wouldn’t say I’m positive though. I assume people are polite. If they aren’t then I’m not going to let someone walk all over me. But I am actively depressed, consider killing myself pretty much daily, have no family, have no friends, don’t have anyone to I regularly talk to, and I rewatch Star Trek non-stop because it’s the only thing that makes me feel okay. I ain’t positive even remotely. I’m just exhausted after everything I’ve been through in the past few years and I don’t have the energy to get worked up.
Also, I see what you say about reddit but I haven’t had really any rude experiences on Lemmy. Maybe like 3 in the month I’ve been here. Everyone has been generally nice as hell and a lot kinder than reddit.
he/she is pretty awkward to use when “they” is RIGHT THERE
“they” has been used singular for longer than “you” had been singular… if you have some weird “rulerslap me mommy” grammar fetish, you can successfully stay erect while using singular they by knowing it was good enough for chaucer, okay
Jumping down someone’s throat about it is stupid - unless they’re being malicious, then jump away and tear whomever a new one. They aren’t technically wrong, though. “They” is an ideal word that’s been correct in both the singular and plural sense for centuries. Given more recent social developments, it’s an easy way to be inclusive and not “risk” being wrong.
(I’m assuming you used literally “he/she” to refer to someone of unknown gender)
“He/his” used for be acceptable for people/things of unknown gender as well. Point out a random animal on a walk to your parents and there’s a high chance that they will use male pronouns.
In some obscure mmo I played as a kid, someone was referring to a famous mod with male pronouns, going how it is acceptable If you don’t know the gender and it’s more polite than the alternatives. Now this was long, long, long before agender, and other gendered terms were really a known thing. If you were to told someone you were gender fluid or something like that, they would look at you like you just grew a second head. I don’t quite remember what was said, or why it was being talked about, it was around 20 years ago now. Things have changed since then.
I still fall back on the male pronoun default from time to time, but I try not to as much. But it is a learned behavior that is hard to break entirely.
Man used to be synonymous with human. For instance, when people talk about humans in prehistory, they might use the phrase “early man.” In that context, the word “man” is gender neutral.
Sure. But also, I was a 90s kid too(?) - computers were boy stuff, dont’y’know, and girls should go play with dolls instead. Pedantically, I don’t think it was correct to use when unknown, it was just that the “chance of being wrong” was a lot smaller because we really did assume “anyone in position X has to be a man” a lot more the further back you go. Even if it’s just the 90-00s.
In the past, English had “thou” for 2nd person singular and “you” was exclusive to the 2nd person plural.
I don’t see why that can’t happen with “they” vs “he/she” too.
Though it’s a bit sad that it would likely result in a more ambiguous language that could potentially lead to misunderstandings. Unless we start to use constructs like “they all” for adding specificity, in a similar way as how “you all” (or y’all) is sometimes used.
They+all=th’all? Adding this to my lexicon. Y’all is sacred to me, being from the south. Th’all shall be canonized along with it.
Absolutely if anyone has a problem with that, th’all can go fuck themselves.
While assuming someone’s pronouns are it shouldn’t be encouraged, using it as your pronouns is still perfectly valid
All I’m saying is according to English grammatical rules it’s a perfectly valid method of referring to a singular person when gender is unknown.
Now according to societal politeness rules on the other hand, it’s rude as fuck.
I would say that, given that it’s never ok, it is part of English grammartical rules. In German they actually use two different words for when a human eats or when an animal eats, it’s not unprecedented and there’s no need to lend any credibility to the usage of the word “it”.
There is a single precedent I can think of, which is that with some regularity I see infants/newborns referred to as “it”.
A mindset from the before (antibiotics) times. Babies used to die quite frequently. So much that in some cultures babies weren’t named until later in their life, not during pregnancy as it’s custom today. So they were kind of an out there thing, that wasn’t baptized and named yet, they were an it. They were “the baby”. No different than a dog or a turtle, they might die without a name, given an unmarked burial. And off to the next pregnancy. Still a tragedy, and people did mourn and suffered the loss. But not to the same degree of modern, western medicalized, pregnancies were almost every single baby born is expected to at least survive to infancy.
according to English grammatical rules it’s a perfectly valid method of referring to a singular person
show me ONE fucking example prior to 2000 of people using “it” for persons without it being dehumanizing
singular “they” has fulfilled this function for at least 500 years. “it” has never been a pronoun for humans, until it recently saw use as a neo-pronoun.
there is no grammar rulebook. grammar is usage. you are claiming that it’s been used like that. you’re wrong.
You’re more than welcome to go back in time and inform my 10th grade teacher of this. Lemme know how that works out for you.
oh shit nvm didn’t realize your tenth grade English teacher said otherwise mb
Just grow the fuck up already!
Gendered pronouns in most sentences are a waste and often lead to a false ascertainment. While I don’t use ‘it’ for everyone, I would love to get used to it.
While I don’t care about the gender crap (use what ever), I appreciate having a different pronoun for people or conscious things vs objects of any kind. They/them still holds info over it/that.
I admit I am a poisoned well, though. I was taught ‘it’ is outright disrespectful. Even before I knew LGBTQ+ anything, so it implicitly doesn’t apply to people, IMO.
This is why the universal language should be Indonesian. No gendered words, no pronouns, heck there’s even no tenses. By the way, you also pronounce the words the way it was written like Latin so there’s no confusion on how to pronounce the words. The grammar is also straightforward enough you can just grab a dictionary and start speaking coherent Indonesian.
