522 points

So you did not notice that they didn’t actual do anything…? But were happy that their mouse was moving around…?

This is what I fail to get. You give people things to work on. Why do you want to spy on them instead of just looking at the results? Even if someone spends half the time watching YouTube, if all the work is done… who cares?

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272 points

The lesson is to work really, really slow

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161 points
*

This is actually exactly the lesson. If the issue in this case was the mouse jiggler, then just working slow would be perfectly fine?! Are they all stupid?

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148 points

The problem is that companies have unrealistic expectation of how you spend your day. Everybody knows that most “white collar” jobs don’t actually have you working 8hrs every day with the only time you stop working being bathroom breaks and lunch. People take all kinds of informal breaks and get distracted throughout the day. So there is this weird thing where everybody knows that, but companies have to pretend like they don’t, which leads to asinine decisions like keyboard and mouse trackers to determine if people are actually working. Which then leads to people looking for solutions that earn them their little informal breaks back, which everybody takes and are perfectly fine. But again, we sort of pretend water cooler time doesn’t occur.

It’s some sort of perverse arms race built around a shared lie we all pretend we don’t know about.

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58 points

If you work in an office job you will find that it’s all a scam. You must work very slow. Otherwise, you get rewarded with MORE WORK.

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13 points

I dont think wanting to use your free time effectively is stupid.

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41 points

To quote Homer Simpson:

Lisa! If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

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41 points

Finally. My low sensitivity for gaming is about to pay off.

“Did you see that email?”

“My cursor is on its way to check”

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2 points

There fact that I have been told seriously, more than 0 times, to work more slowly in my life is insane to me.

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3 points

It’s a rachet effect. If you do things quickly, often enough, it’ll just be expected. You won’t be rewarded for it.

And you better be able to keep up that pace constantly for the next ten years.

You can certainly deliver things early, just try to stay at a sustainable pace.

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107 points

I know people who use the mouse jiggler. They get all their work done and are good employees.

I’m a manager at a large company and have employees who work mostly from home. I don’t bother checking if their picture has a green or yellow mark next to their name. If they respond to my emails quickly and get their overall work done, I’m happy.

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76 points

Their productivity is naturally increased because they aren’t force to re-authenticate on their laptops because they were inactive for 5 minute while reading a report or going to the bathroom. Or worse, if they have multiple laptops because of security or compliance reasons, and one will inevitably be inactive forcing yet another sign in.

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62 points
*

This is the real reason I have one of those damn mouse jigglers. The timeouts on our laptop are CRAZY short, like 5 minutes tops. Just stepping away for some coffee or to take a shit then I have to re-authenticate. Heaven forbid I make myself a toasted bagel or something!

It’s even worse as I work 95% inside multiple virtual machines in the cloud that also timeout (and in some cases shut down) so there are multiple layers of password +2fa just to get back to whatever I was doing.

So yeah, $10 USB device from Amazon allows me to not spend a hour a day just having to re-auth.

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5 points

I have Teams installed on my phone (in a special work partition). A mouse jiggler let’s me move around the house, go on walks, change the laundry all while being able to immediately respond to anyone reaching out.

Management is pretty bad about actually doing their jobs to keep a steady stream of work coming my way. They’re too disorganized to actually plan effectively so there’s always one team under crunch while everyone else is waiting around for them to finish.

If I ever actually tell them I don’t have enough work to do, they’ll happily fill my time with extremely obvious bullshit busywork (like, why don’t you take yet another HR diversity survey?) So I just don’t say anything and let the work trickle in and everyone seems really happy with this setup (3 straight years of very positive reviews). A mouse jiggler letting me be ‘on call’ during the slow months has been huge for my sanity.

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9 points

Ah, a lower end manager I see. The higher ups wouldn’t be smart enough to get that.

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84 points

That’s what salaried positions are supposed to be like. You’re getting paid for the job, not the hours.

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71 points
*

You’d like to think that, but the last several years have proven beyond a doubt that they’re much more concerned that we’re sitting at our desks during set hours than any actual outcomes.

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49 points

The more the old lies are proven as lies, the closer we get to the truth:

Just as important as “getting the job done” is the notion among many employers that they truly believe that with their payroll they are buying human lives and happiness. That if they are paying a worker for their time and labor that they are entitled to also dictate how that person feels about it…and if that worker is not sufficiently miserable, then they can be squeezed further.

I used to think that it was purely about money…that the idea was that if a worker ever got “all caught up” and had free time, then they should be generating more wealth for their employer in some other way…but then we had the pandemic.

The pandemic where lots and lots of workers had to suddenly do the whole work from home thing. And in that time, these employers were thrilled to go along with it, since it meant continuing to make money. And in that time, most office workers eventually turned out to be happier and even more productive.

…yet in the wake of the pandemic, many of these employers have chosen less productivity in exchange for bringing their employees back to offices. The only explanation for bringing employees back in who were happier and more productive from home is that these employers value the image of control and the ability to make their workers unhappy more than they value productivity and money.

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4 points

No, that’s not how employment works in this country. Employers pay people for the right to tell them what to do. You, as an employee, have sold your time to someone else. You are literally paid for the hours. Your employer is paid for the job. You are paid to do the things your employer tells you to do, which usually is part of the job they were paid to do.

Ofc all of this is subject to a whole mess of laws, regulations, policies, and whatever other horseshit HR decides to try. The important lesson is that you as an employee should NEVER put in work beyond the time you are paid to work.

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1 point

That’s why I used the qualifier “supposed to be”

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55 points

Because it’s not about getting work done, it’s about having power over your employees.

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9 points

Found the answer.

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7 points

Slaves is what they want and we fail to provide it to them.

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Even if someone spends half the time watching YouTube, if all the work is done… who cares?

They care because it means you could be doing even more work in the time allotted.

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24 points

It’s the “if you have time to lean you have time to clean” of the white collar world, why would they be paying the peasants if the toil isn’t visible

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Another way of putting it is that it’s the “I paid for X, I want to use all of the X” of the upper management world.

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13 points

capital sucks up all the surplus value of your labor. you don’t get to keep it.

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28 points

They don’t have a real job…

According to the disclosures, the terminated employees worked in Wells Fargo’s wealth- and investment-management unit.

Time and time again, these funds don’t really beat the average of an index fund.

But the Uber wealthy dont like being lumped together with regular people. So they pay commissions to get the same performance, resulting in less profits than an ind x when it’s all said and done.

But the company points to the small parts that do over perform, and downplays the bad parts.

Turn 1 million into 5 million, and it’s easy to forget there was another 10 million that’s worth 6 million now.

Sure you up a million, but you’re focused on that 5x gain and not the 4 million loss. So before commissions it’s a draw.

In real life there’s interest, inflation, and lots of other stuff that muddies the waters.

It’s like their version of horse racing, they bet on a bunch and hope one hits it big and pays off the losses on the others. It’s the same as gambling and just as addictive.

So if these employees were answering their phone when a big client calls and letting stuff sit, their performance was probably fine.

Because it’s not a real job.

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27 points
*

I’ve been the one identifying the people who use jigglers. Usually it was a manager coming to us to look for a reason to fire a poor employee or a contractor trying to bill a suspiciously large number of hours for the work produced. If it was just poor performance, HR would make us do a PIP and waste 3 months on them. Violating security procedures and falsifying time sheets was an immediate termination. And for the contractors, you need evidence in order to refuse payment.

Btw, if you want to get away with it, don’t use a software or USB one. Get one that interfaces with a regular mouse. Modern cybersecurity software logs every process executed and device connected.

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6 points

But the USB one is going to be identified as a mouse (input device), you can even change the hardware id to be the same as the work mouse no?

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6 points

USB devices have a hard coded vendor identifier and product identifier built into them that are issued from a central authority. The ones I saw were easily identifiable as not legitimate mice.

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26 points

“because they might finish their work in 2 hours, which means they’re stealing 6 hours of pay from us!” - Idiots who spent dollars obsessing over pennies.

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10 points
*

I mean, if you can do it in 2 hours I think it’s pretty fair to want you to do something else, but if it’s whole day thing and you finish an hour early you’re probably not going to be effective in that last hour anyway.

That’s not the best time to start something completely new

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14 points

This just punishes the people that are better or at least more efficient than their peers.

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5 points

What they want and what they pay me for are never the same.

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14 points

One thing to keep in mind: with “knowledge work”, the work is never done - there’s always more to do.

So for middle management it’s really hard to measure productivity, so we get this nonsense.

This is also why Agile project management is so popular - it provides a daily metric of what’s going on, what people are doing. It forces a granularity of communication (which for those of us with lots to do, gets pretty fucking annoying).

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11 points

Exactly. I kind of don’t give a shit about how my employees manage their time. If they get the thing done when we both agreed it should reasonably be done by, and they’re reasonably available to support their coworkers during business hours, then they can play video games for half the day for all I care.

You measure the results, not the clicks.

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7 points

That means you have to do actual management. Talk to people. Keep on top of workloads. Rebalance things. Build relationships. They don’t have time for that - they have their own tasks to do. So they rely on the green checkmark to mean that lil Davey is being a good busy bee.
I don’t know why things got to be this way.

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6 points

But then you can’t fire them and not have to call it a re org.

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246 points

A Wells Fargo spokesperson told Bloomberg that the company “holds employees to the highest standards and does not tolerate unethical behavior.”

I mean the jokes write themselves

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21 points

The only two things higher than that are the fees they extract from overdraft and the money they pay their legal team.

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6 points

The shareholders will be furious.

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170 points

Poor Wells Fargo. Maybe they should sign a bunch of customers up to loans they didn’t ask for about it to feel better.

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69 points

After that fiasco I can’t believe anyone still uses Wells Fargo.

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26 points

After that crime spree I can’t believe Wells Fargo is still allowed to exist.

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15 points

I’ve never used Wells Fargo, but I never heard about this fiasco you guys are talking about.

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30 points

Banks like to think that branch employees (bank tellers) are sales people. Most of them give ‘goals’ to each employee requiring them to open a certain number of new accounts, land a certain number of loans, etc each week/month. It isn’t ethical since the only people you can really sell on those services are the ones who should least get them. Anyone who actually wants/needs the services will come to you.

Wells Fargo differed from the rest of the industry by setting completely impossible goals, not just unethical ones. This led to them developing a culture where signing people up for services they didn’t agree to became commonplace.

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8 points

You don’t have a choice where your loan ends up plus there are all the corporate contracts that aren’t going to change. They were stealing money from the elderly not businesses.

I have a company I deal with at work where the owner of that one cussed out and hung up the phone on the CEO of where I work. We still do business with them because it’s way too much money to walk away from.

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7 points
*

Funnily enough an accounting teacher I had used Wells Fargo

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11 points

There’s a hallmark/lifetime movie about this. The bank isn’t WF but we all know who it is.

After his corporate rah-rah and disbelief his bank full of good ethical people would do such a thing, at the behest of the main character he finds out from some marketing chuds it is in fact true. Believing in the company to do the right thing he goes against the main character’s wishes and tells an exec who expectedly closes the accts of the vocal customers and sweeps it all under the rug - deleting all record.

The love interest finds out his company doesn’t actually care about their customers when he asks if they are going to do a full company investigation and the exec laughs and instead offers up a potential promotion instead.

I knew the whole plotline was bullshit when he quit to become a whistleblower. As he gave his first interview on the main character’s tv station, he gave his full name as he did a live interview and didn’t get murdered by the bank immediately.

Thanks to Boeing we all learned that whistleblower is a far more dangerous profession than police officer and the chance of dying is thousands of percent higher. You really have to suspend disbelief at the movie plot.

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9 points
*

I’m still trying to wrap my head around suffering watching a Lifetime movie in purpose tbh… but yeah, their plots are unintentionally farcical every time.

e: suffering=someone but it still works so I’ll leave it

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4 points

Lifetime movies are awesome because you can put them on in the background and they’re not at all distracting from the main task you’re working on.

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8 points

I’m trying to suspend my disbelief at you watching a hallmark movie and remembering it well enough to give a synopsis.

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8 points

Turns out the employees didn’t actually do that. It was the mouse jigglers and clickers conspiring together.

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164 points

Friendly reminder that Wells Fargo is a criminal enterprise masquerading as a bank.

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16 points

That applies to all investment banks no? Or is Wells Fargo a special kind criminal?

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17 points

No you’re right. It’s like Mitch Hedberg used to say about drinking though… Still does, but he used to too.

They are, but Wells Fargo too.

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16 points

Wells Fargo specifically committed widespread, systemic fraud and identity theft.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wells_Fargo_cross-selling_scandal?wprov=sfla1

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3 points

They’re the same picture.

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137 points

A Wells Fargo spokesperson told Bloomberg that the company “holds employees to the highest standards and does not tolerate unethical behavior.”

Says an unethical piece of shit corporation that secretly opened millions of unauthorized accounts of their customers to collect bogus fees, appease their shareholders and financial status.

Were the executives fired? No. Were they jailed for financial fraud? No.

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/wells-fargo-agrees-pay-3-billion-resolve-criminal-and-civil-investigations-sales-practices

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21 points

“Highest standards” my ass. My job provides service to Wells Fargo; their fraud claims department is full of the rudest, most condescending people I’ve had the displeasure to work with.

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11 points

Says an unethical piece of shit corporation that secretly opened millions of unauthorized accounts of their customers to collect bogus fees, appease their shareholders and financial status.

It’s unethical for the workers to pretend to open those accounts by using software to trick their administrators into looking busy.

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7 points

But they did use their mouse for valid company business, so it is all OK.

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4 points

I’m not disagreeing with you, but your last sentence isn’t correct.

Last year, the former head of the bank’s retail operation was sentenced to three years of probation, while the bank’s former CEO was banned from the industry.

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6 points

I think technically op may be correct, as being banned from an industry is different from the business firing them. And probation isn’t jail time

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6 points

Sorry to come with “um, ackshuslly” but they didn’t ask if they were convicted of a crime. The question was "were they jailed? And according to your post, they were not.

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3 points

True. I was referring more to the first part about being fired. After rereading it, the two weren’t “fired”. Although 3 years of probation isn’t nothing, it’s a far cry from what many feel should have been done. The CEO was banned from the industry, which is something.

I’d really be curious to know if the punishment of the CEO & “head of retail operations” provided relief to the people affected by their crime AND was substantial enough to change their behavior.I feel that those items are what the sentencing should be about.

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3 points

My ex-MIL worked for Wells Fargo and opened an account for me to help meet her quota. Then I started getting overdraft fees because there was no money in the account to pay the monthly fees for the account I didn’t want or use. I had her close it. So yeah the whole company was kinda duplicitous.

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2 points

If they’re yet another stereotypical thieving baron then doesn’t that make it actually ethical to do fucking any kind of damage or do you gotta be heath ledger to actually be the good guy there?

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