49 points

Me, an old person: “Why don’t they just drink black coffee instead?”

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52 points

Because it makes my pee taste funny

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21 points

*spits out coffee i mean pee

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16 points

*Spits out pee I mean monster

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9 points

Mmmm… funny pee.

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23 points

Me, a young person: “both coffee and energy drinks are expensive. I’ll keep drinking tap water when I’m thirsty.”

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16 points
*

Me, an Eldrich abomimation of unthinkable age:
Y̴̖̏’̷͔̂ ̶̬͐Y̷͆ͅ’̴̙̈́ ̶͚͐a̸̛̹h̶̢̎ ̷̟̀ǎ̷̳h̴̺̉ ̴̨̀n̸̖̚ǎ̴͈f̷̼̌l̵̿͜ ̷̯͒Y̴̬͝’̷̥̐ ̵͈̅ê̷̖p̵̨̾h̷͎́a̵̘͠i̴͓͛a̶͕͋h̷̨͛ ̸̇͜Ÿ̷̠’̷͈̃ ̶̖̈e̷̳̊p̴̹͐h̸̠̅a̸̳̚ị̶̃n̸̹͋ȧ̸̞f̸͉̄ĺ̷̗ ̸̻̅Y̷͚͒’̸̪͆ ̴̬̄a̶͚͆h̸̨͑ ̷̣̄p̴̟̃h̸͖̾’̵͓̑ņ̷̄g̴̺̏ĺ̵͔u̴͔̅ï̶͕ ̸̮͗ă̷̠h̵̦̓ ̴̓͜Y̶͍̓’̷̨̾ ̶͇̈p̴̪̈́ḩ̴̎’̸̼̇n̴͍̾g̷͍͋l̶͓̏ṳ̴̄í̴͕ ̴̠͝a̶̤̓h̴̤̒ ̸̤́e̴͚̊r̴̠̃ę̷͗y̸̥͠

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8 points

We were all thinking it, but it takes an eldritch abomination to say it out loud

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7 points

Me, a Turk: Black tea my beloved, you’ll always be hot for me every morning, second breakfast, noon, afternoon, 5 o’clock, evening.

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3 points

So true

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10 points

Because black coffee tastes even worse than Monster does. (And has a lot less caffeine.)

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8 points
*

Maybe as you get older, you crave bitter things. That and the fear of the diabeetus monster. Artificial sweeteners can also cause health issues. That said, a quality blonde roast coffee can be pretty nice and not too strong.

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4 points

Bitter foods are an acquired taste. Sweet foods are not. I remember reading somewhere that sweet foods become less attractive once you’ve grown up, but nothing about bitter foods becoming more attractive.

I always thought that people acquire a taste for coffee for the same reason they acquire a taste for beer: repeated exposure. Coffee is the cheapest caffeinated drink (at least in the US), and beer is the cheapest alcoholic drink. Both taste like ass the first time you drink them, but you put up with the taste because you want to get wired or drunk. After repeated exposure, some people grow to like the taste.

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4 points

Feeling this so hard as I trundle into my forties. I can’t get enough bitter gourd.

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2 points

I do like a quality blonde

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1 point

most common artificial sweeteners are completely fine

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3 points

At least where I live energy drinks are cheaper than coffee (unless you are drinking shitty instant coffee) plus while I do like how coffee tastes like it is a lot less appealing than then sweet tropical fruit flavored energy drinks

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11 points

I might be a girl then cuz I never leave things half done

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2 points
*

Same! It’s either less than 10% or over 90% for me.

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1 point

Please don’t tell me you’re one of the people who drinks almost all of it but then goes -OK I’m done, try not to look at that very obvious amount of drink I still have in my glass-

That’s what my bro does and it’s real bad for cleaning the dishes…

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3 points

I was more talking about other things like projects or stories I write. I try finish my drinks.

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9 points

Am I too old to get this joke? I do have a Guru from time to time but I guess it’s not enough.

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27 points

There’s a stereotype that trans femmes drinking monster energy drinks

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7 points

After first seeing the term trans femme, I was very sad trans homme wasn’t in use.

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Yeah, it’s trans masc instead, but it did give us the very fun trans masc trans mask.

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5 points

pepsi max or nuffin

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4 points

real

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